Image: Inma 🙂 via flickr
I don’t know where I’ve been, but I’m back.
Weeks 24-27 & number 28 today. They came & went. One just blends into another these days, so I guess I can just let them go without saying much more.
The 6 month mark didn’t pass by as easily. The day was blah. Tears were shed. I finally realized I do most of my crying while driving. Sunglasses help to keep the other drivers from wondering what the hell is wrong. I’ve been able to drive through it; only once in the last 6 months have I had to pull over. Anyways, I’ll get around to writing a post for that day. But for now, I survived it. I guess that’s the important part. The main observation to come out of it was how quickly & how slowly time has passed. And now I get to look forward to 1-year. Fuck.
On the writing front, things have gone really well. I took another writing class this past quarter (just finished last week). As I wrote in my last post, I got incredibly good feedback from my instructor. The positive feedback started with my editing skills and then extended into really great comments on my writing & my novel. The course focused on writing & rewriting the 1st 50-pages of your novel. So, I really feel like I came out of it with a good start, with material that should carry me forward. I had my weaknesses pointed out & spent the course addressing them. I feel like I know how to overcome them now which is great.
Towards the end of the course I got a personal email from my instructor saying:
You’re writing and critiquing at such a high level it would be my pleasure to write you a recommendation.
That just made my day, my week, my month. I’m not an insecure person, but when it comes to my writing, I’m still at the beginning stages and I need to know I’m doing things right. The other great thing about his comment was that it really got me thinking about what I love to do. Yes, writing would be one of those things. The other would be critiquing. Specifically, I like working on works-in-progress. I like giving feedback on what’s working & what’s not. I’m extremely detail orientated, so I will notice inconsistencies that others might miss. Yes, I will point out flaws; but I do it because I’d rather someone know what’s wrong so they can work to address it & make it better. So, this got me thinking about career options. I’ve been in a bit of a career transition for the last 5 years. It has all been about finding what I truly enjoy doing & being happy. I need something that blends my love of writing, editing/critiquing, & reading. So, I realized I would have loved to do something like manuscript editing. Now, I’m doing some research & some thinking. I think I might be onto something.
The plan for April is to get another 50-pages of draft #2 & to revise those pages in the process. I want to revise, to a certain extent, as I go forward because I want to know I’m moving forward with a good foundation. When I finally write The End on this draft, I know I’m going to have to go back & revise & edit, but I’m hoping it won’t be as gruelling. Who knows. But this is the way I want to move forward.
So, that’s where I am. Grieving is grieving. It is what it is. Writing is going well. Oh, & the dogs are great. Leo is about 1/2 way through chemo & all is pretty well. One little complication, but nothing major. I’ll do a separate post on that soon. Teddy is great. Fully recovered from surgery & back to his normal grumpy self.
I’m back & so is this blog.
This is me writing 
April 5, 2009 at 10:53 am
Hooray! Sounds like great news. Just reading between the lines, “what” would be a great pleasure for your instructor? Continuing to give you advice? Or writing you a rec? ???? Sorry I’m nosy!
That’s awesome, and I’m so pleased that the course really seems to have been worthwhile. Glad Leo & Teddy are doing well, that is a huge relief.
Can’t believe it’s been six months since you lost your mom. My Fletcher roommate lost her mom in early March, so she is still in the dull-aftershock phase (plus is moving from Manhattan out to NJ so her not-well father can move in with her and her new husband. Oh yes and her sister-in-law wrote her friends after her mother died saying ‘ding dong the witch is dead.’ !!!!!! Can you imagine?!?!!?!?! Ugh. But I digress.)
Like I said it’s hard to believe it’s been more than six months now. Now this fact of your mother’s loss is weaving itself into your being, as a hurt that will just always be there. That stinks but thank goodness for the love and legacy she left you. It means so much and is so cool when you can grab ahold of that.
Sounds like you’re doing well, all things considered.
My folks are in LA this week, visiting the grandgirls. Wish I were there so I could see you too!!!!
May 19, 2009 at 12:22 am
Ah, I just realized that I left off part of the quote from my instructor…almost 6 weeks after I first posted this & you first asked. Apparently I haven’t been closely reading my comments…oops. He said it would be his pleasure to write me a recommendation. I hadn’t even asked for one; so, a lovely offer.
June 2, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I’ve been travelling and am just catching up on blog reading.
Your thoughts about getting into reading and critiquing sound great. When we get back to Sydney I’m going to resume work on my book, and maybe I will contact you for professional services when I have something to review!
In the meantime, I did read “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” recently, and agreed with one of the characters who lost someone (her son, I think) in WW II. She said — my paraphrasing but I think it’s close: “People tell me life goes on. It’s death that goes on.”
Good luck with your novel and cheers.
June 2, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Thanks for checking in & catching up!
“People tell me life goes on. It’s death that goes on.” –That’s exactly it. Thank you. Every time I think I’ve managed to survive another day or another milestone, and that this is getting easier, reality hits…she’s still not here and that’s not going to change. Life goes on, but the reality of it never changes.
Happy writing!!