Dey via flickr

Image: Dey via flickr

Got back into my routine today. With my brother & his girlfriend here for the holidays & my injury, I haven’t been able to do my usual Saturday thing. So, this morning I went to my writing group. No writing today. When we finally did stop talking, I couldn’t get anything out. I went back & reread what I had (big mistake). Thought it was crap & didn’t know where to restart. I’d planned to stay a couple hours after we usually end. I’d fed the dogs early, before I left, & let them spend some quality time outside; so, I would have been safe til about 2. But promptly at noon, I gave up & packed it in.

On the way home I stopped off & got some flowers–yellow gerbera daisies. I’d missed not buying flowers on Saturdays the last couple of weeks. But it wasn’t something I could really pass on to someone else to pick up for me. It’s something I have to do.

Came home, put them in a vase & then opened up the windows & front door & hung out outside with the dogs. It was about 80 today. Absolutely beautiful. I love 80 degrees in winter, even if it is wrong on so many levels! Then, I put the stereo on, hooked up the iPod, and played The National & read. As I was sitting there struggling to write this morning, it dawned on me that one of the reasons I’ve been struggling with writing lately is that I haven’t been reading. I’ve been reading non-fiction, but I haven’t been reading fiction. I realized, I need to be constantly reminded how other writers do it. I need to be reminded that 1st person POV works. I need to be reminded that a reader can care about a fictional character’s life. I’ve read that some writers can’t read fiction while they’re writing; too worried that they’ll be influenced by it. But, I think I’m the opposite. I need to read fiction. I need to get lost in made-up stories, so I can get lost in my own. So, I sat down in the big leather chair, propped the bad leg up on the ottoman, & sat down to finish reading The End of the Story by Lydia Davis. I started this book before my mother died, & hadn’t picked it up since then. For the past 16 weeks I’ve had trouble sitting down & reading fiction. Maybe a fear of letting my mind wander; even if my mind was supposed to be wandering in the author’s world, I was too afraid it would wander somewhere else. I also haven’t been such a big fan of the quiet that I usually require to read. But today, it felt alright. I don’t know why or what was different today. But I could sit down & read & I wasn’t afraid of my thoughts drifting off, & they didn’t.

So, we’ll see if reading gets me back on track with writing. (more…)

tantrum_dan via flickr

Image: tantrum_dan via flickr

Went to the doctor yesterday & was told to ditch the crutches. I still have on the straight leg brace, but I’m supposed to work on getting rid of that too over the next 2 weeks & move onto a smaller compression brace/bandage. Think of the braces people wear for sports. I’m also supposed to be working on bending my knee. It’s stiff as a board. The muscles are so tight. Right now, I really can’t bend it at all. There’s a little give, but still it’s basically straight. But every day, I’m supposed to try & do a little more. So, I’m hoping by my next appointment in 2 weeks, I’ll have made significant progress.

Just losing the crutches is major progress. I can walk on it with no problem. I’m a little slow because I’m walking with a straight leg & the muscles do get a little tight after awhile, but still, I’m moving. Having use of my hands again is a wonderful thing & a relief given that my brother & his girlfriend leave tomorrow to go back to the East Coast. I’ll now be able to take care of me & the dogs with no problem. While I’d managed to cook for us over the weekend with the crutches, it was exhausting. Standing on 2 legs is a beautiful thing!

Tomorrow morning, before everyone leaves, I’m going to try driving. I drive an automatic, so it wasn’t so much that I couldn’t drive, as that I couldn’t get my leg in the car without bending it. My right leg, which I need to drive, is fine. The problem was getting my left leg in the car. Now that I can use the smaller brace, I think I can maneuver my leg into the car, even if the leg won’t bend too much. Better odds than with the larger brace. Fingers crossed.