tantrum_dan via flickr

Image: tantrum_dan via flickr

Went to the doctor yesterday & was told to ditch the crutches. I still have on the straight leg brace, but I’m supposed to work on getting rid of that too over the next 2 weeks & move onto a smaller compression brace/bandage. Think of the braces people wear for sports. I’m also supposed to be working on bending my knee. It’s stiff as a board. The muscles are so tight. Right now, I really can’t bend it at all. There’s a little give, but still it’s basically straight. But every day, I’m supposed to try & do a little more. So, I’m hoping by my next appointment in 2 weeks, I’ll have made significant progress.

Just losing the crutches is major progress. I can walk on it with no problem. I’m a little slow because I’m walking with a straight leg & the muscles do get a little tight after awhile, but still, I’m moving. Having use of my hands again is a wonderful thing & a relief given that my brother & his girlfriend leave tomorrow to go back to the East Coast. I’ll now be able to take care of me & the dogs with no problem. While I’d managed to cook for us over the weekend with the crutches, it was exhausting. Standing on 2 legs is a beautiful thing!

Tomorrow morning, before everyone leaves, I’m going to try driving. I drive an automatic, so it wasn’t so much that I couldn’t drive, as that I couldn’t get my leg in the car without bending it. My right leg, which I need to drive, is fine. The problem was getting my left leg in the car. Now that I can use the smaller brace, I think I can maneuver my leg into the car, even if the leg won’t bend too much. Better odds than with the larger brace. Fingers crossed.

I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I did something I haven’t done since before my mother died.

I went for a drive with no destination & then ended up at a cafe & sat & read for a couple hours.

I love to drive with no destination. It helps clear my mind. It lets me think. It’s usually the best way for me to work through my writing issues & story problems or ideas. I guess I really haven’t wanted to think in a while, so I haven’t done it. But it was a really nice day today & I really just wanted to be out, but still in my own world. I don’t know that I did too much thinking. This drive seemed to be more about just being in the moment & doing something from my old routine.

The same can be said of sitting and reading at a cafe. I’ve had a reallly hard time sitting still & focusing lately, so there has been no appeal in sitting alone at a cafe & reading, & focusing. But maybe the drive brought it on. Maybe this is me getting back in touch with my old routine & finding away to integrate the person I am now, & where my head is now, back into it. It’s not to say that I’m at all comfortable with letting my mind wander. But I guess I’m getting more comfortable with the quiet I used to love & being alone in it.

Progress I suppose.

Image: ‘SeraphimC via flickr