With the end of week 4, I have come a third of the way through this process. I feel a real sense of accomplishment that I’ve stayed with the process and committed to it. Now, having said that, I will admit to being a little lax in working through this week’s tasks. As this week was about recovering a sense of integrity, I’m owning up to my slacking. That’s not to say that this week was a bad week. It was actually a good week full of some good things in terms of where I am mentally and creatively.

This week I had a surge in creativity and productivity with my novel-in-progress. I finally made it through a scene that has been dogging me for much longer than it ever should have. I actually felt myself wanting to sit down and write this week. That kind of need & desire has been a bit lacking in recent weeks. It just felt good to really want to dive in & push forward. I also had a really good week in noticing that I am a lot more present & connected than I’ve been in months. I really have been happy this week, & actually much of the last couple weeks. Yes, there have been some bad moments, but, I’ve been able to step away from them & see them as such small parts of what have been largely good days & good experiences. So, I don’t know what is going on exactly, but things just feel good. And I really just feel like I’ve turned a corner in life. It’s been a slow road to get here & while the last few weeks of The Artist’s Way process have helped me realize I’m at this moment, it has been been a more complex process that I’m just now starting to recognize.

As for Morning Pages, I was 7 for 7 again this week. They really have become a part of my daily routine. Even if I can’t get them done first thing in the morning, I’m always conscious of needing to do them at some point in the day, & not letting them slide. My day doesn’t feel complete without them now. The morning pages have been incredibly helpful in me being more conscious this week of where I am mentally & also in helping me work through a new idea that kind of threw me for a loop. One of the tasks in this week’s process was to describe your ideal environment. I was really surprised by my answer. I’ve always said & believed that I needed to live in a large city, that I wanted to live in a large city like Los Angeles. But my answer was the complete opposite & that really surprised me. I’d never before thought that I wanted to live in a small town, in a slightly isolated area, surrounded by nature as opposed to buildings & people. In my morning pages I’ve been able to figure out where this idea came from & what I’m thinking as I go forward. No, I’m not picking up & moving any time soon, but this new found ideal environment is giving me ideas for the future, & they oddly feel right.

My Artist’s Date didn’t happen this week. This week’s task was to make the AD into a mini one-day vacation of sorts. I got so hung up on figuring out what I could do with myself for an entire day, that I forgot that I could have just done a simple AD of a couple hours instead. Yes, I’m a little surprised that I couldn’t figure out how to indulge myself for an entire day. Given greater financial resources, I probably could have come up with some ideas. But, trying to live within current means somehow left me stumped. I hate that I let money get in the way, but I did. So, lesson here, still do the simplified version of something even if I can’t do the grander version. Plus, I’m going to try to do two ADs this week to make up for last week.

As for this week’s tasks, I’ll admit that I worked through most of them right before I sat down to write this. But they did get done. However, I did skip one of the “important” tasks for this week: the reading deprivation. I know why I didn’t do it. I honestly didn’t understand how extensive the reading deprivation was supposed to be. Did it include work & my class reading? I do understand the merits of it. So, I do want to do it. As soon as I’m done writing this, I’m going to do a little online research to see if there is a better description of what the reading deprivation is supposed to entail. For me, while I don’t think I can give up work & class reading, I can give up my free time reading as well as all the reading I do online to waste time. God, think of all the time I’d have free!!! So, I’m going to try & still get around to that one in the coming week.

So, now on to week 5 and recovering a sense of possibility. Looking forward to the possibilities.

Oh, and on an unrelated note, must share these pictures of the dogs.

Leo

Leo

Teddy

Teddy

Yesterday was unbearably hot, & as the house does not have air conditioning, the dogs were a bit hot. I came up with a rather brilliant idea–soaking a towel in cold water & covering them with it. While Leo wasn’t to thrilled with the idea–his shook it off as soon as the above picture was taken, Teddy–who usually has a fit if you come anywhere near him with a towel–loved it. He spent a good hour under that towel & happily repeated the process again this afternoon as the temperature hit over 100 degrees.

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