The theme for this week was recovering a sense of identity. When I first sat down to reflect on the past week, I really thought I was going to say that I hadn’t connected with that theme. This week was busy–work deadlines & some emotional stuff that just made getting the weekly tasks done almost impossible. Since I hadn’t completed most of the tasks, I was sure I’d fallen short on really exploring the theme & wouldn’t have connected with what was going on in my head. But apparently, without realizing it, I did tap into that theme. The theme of recovering a sense of identity really could have been my theme for this week even if I wasn’t doing the Artist’s Way process right now.

While I’ve been doing some freelance editing & writing work for the last couple years, I have also wanted to look for a full-time job that would give me more formal experience in the publishing industry, whether that be in magazine or book publishing. But every time I’ve set out to tailor a resume for the field or to look for jobs, I’ve self-sabotaged. I would start working on a new version of my resume & end up convinced that it was pointless because I didn’t have the skills for the field–which is ridiculous because I actually have writing & editorial experience. And then on the job search front, I’d so focus on how I was under-qualified or altogether lacking the skills the job ad called for, or how there weren’t any jobs out there; thus, abandoning my search. Then a funny thing happened this weekend. I just started reading the book, The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent by Esther & Jerry Hicks. I haven’t gotten too far into the book to really say for sure how I feel about it. The conditions under which it was supposedly written are a little out there, even for me (let’s just say “channeling” was involved); but the message (so far) is something I’ve been exploring a lot in the last couple months. The idea that we create our own lives & we really do have the power to manifest the life we want. In a nutshell, we create our own experience. And it just hit me yesterday that I’m the one who has been holding me back on the job search. I’m the one who has made the job search harder than it has to be. (I realize I’m not explaining this as clearly as I would like. It makes sense in my head, but apparently my logic on paper/blog isn’t quite as clear.) Essentially, I’ve created this idea that I can’t find a job I would love to do. So, this afternoon, for the first time in months, if not years, I wanted to sit down & work on my resume & look for jobs. At the end of the day, I found 3 jobs that I’m interested in, one of which is odd but strangely perfect; and I have a good draft of a resume. The point here, as far as this week’s Artist’s Way theme goes, is that I rediscovered a more self-assured part of my identity in terms of my career identity.

This week I also felt like I unearthed the creative side of me that loves my novel. We’ve had a bit of a love-hate relationship of late. Mainly I’ve hated what I’ve written even though I still love the story. But towards the end of this week, I got some good writing time in & made headway on some pages that weren’t flowing earlier. I also decided to go ahead & write the story chronologically even though, in the end, the structure will not be. It just works. And then finally on this identity theme, I had a really good, productive work week & really tapped into that professional side of myself that can get things done & thrive under pressure.

So, overall, I feel like I unearthed parts of my identity that I either had buried, neglected, or disavowed. And all while feeling like I’d half-assed this week’s process!

As for the morning pages, I was 7 for 7 on those. I’ve been able to stick with the routine & it’s feeling very natural now. So, I’m really proud of myself for that. (Now if I could just be as successful with a gym routine!)  This week you were also supposed to start adding affirmations to the morning pages routine. So, I incorporated that with no problem. It only adds a few extra minutes. One of the other tasks for this week was to make a list of 10 tiny changes you would like to make in your life, & then do one of them this week. Two of mine were to meditate first thing in the morning & to get up earlier & at a consistent time every day. I decided to pick these two tiny changes & work them in. So far so good. After only 4 days, I’m actually waking up without an alarm clock. Still, will give it time before I call the new routine a success.

And as for this week’s artist’s date, I took myself out to see Emilie Simon, a French electronica/pop musician. I had actually heard of her before, although I didn’t realize that until after the concert. I really liked what I heard. Kind of a mix of Imogen Heap & Kate Bush. And it was nice to sit outside on a summer evening, under the stars, in the park & listen to some great music.

So, week 2 was remarkably productive & eye-opening. So, onto week 3: recovering a sense of power.