The decision to blog about the aftermath of my mother’s death was difficult. Grieving is incredibly personal. But in those immediate days & weeks after the only thing that still felt right was to write. I could have taken to my journal & kept my words to myself, but I’m glad I didn’t.

I’m not one to easily talk about my feelings. But the moment I was thrown into this experience I realized that few people understood what it’s like. You don’t know until you’ve been there. I guess I wanted to share my experience in case it could help someone else. But, through this blog I’ve not only been able to keep record of my good & bad days, but I’ve been able to know I’m not alone–even though, I know I’m not alone. I have incredible family & friends who help get me through. Still, it sometimes takes a stranger to put into words what you can’t.

I so appreciate Carol from My Sydney Paris Life for her comment to my post about the 5 month anniversary of my mother’s death. She apparently found my blog through the blog of a good friend of mine. Carol quoted a few lines from a poem written by Donald Hall that put into words the reality I’ve been struggling with all these months. The poem, Distressed Haiku, is about the death of Hall’s wife, but it is this stanza that Carol left for me that says it all:

You think that their
dying is the worst
thing that could happen.

Then they stay dead.

You can find Hall’s complete poem here.

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