avlxyz via flickr

Image: avlxyz via flickr

I’ll gloss over the fact that today is Valentine’s Day. I don’t buy into it. Ok, I’m currently single which could be coloring my view of the whole thing, but I digress.

21 Saturdays now. Not any easier. I made an effort today to try & do something I would normally have done on a Saturday afternoon. More often than not the last 21 Saturdays I’ve found myself at home around the time that I found her. My writing group ends at noon, & I’m usually home by 1 to check on the dogs, & then I just tend to get stuck at home. I don’t have the motivation to do much on Saturday afternoons–especially right around that time. If someone invites me out for that time period, I’m fine. But if left to my own devices, I seem to find myself here. Sometimes I’ll read, sometimes TV, sometimes just sitting outside, sometimes on the laptop; but here. So, today, I made an effort. I went & wandered around a bookstore for the afternoon; something, I oddly don’t think I’ve done in months. I know I have been in bookstores in the last 21 weeks. I have the books & magazines to prove it. But I don’t think I’ve just wandered as I would have any other Saturday afternoon before. So, today I did. I found a couple books to add to my to read list:

  • The Sun Also Rises by Hemingway–I’ve been meaning to read more Hemingway since last summer, so this will be my next.
  • Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates–I’ve yet to see the movie, but want to. However, I really hate seeing movies before I read the book.
  • Break It Down: Stories by Lydia Davis–I’ve become a fan since reading The End of the Story. I love the economy of her language.
  • The Good Parents by Joan London–Something new. I read the first couple pages & liked, so we’ll see.

The day of course started with writing group. Actually, the day started with me finding a dead mouse outside my backdoor, in my driveway, right next to the rear tire of my car. Lovely. I guess a neighborhood cat decided to leave me a gift. I left it there in the hope that by the time I returned 3 hours later another of the neighborhood cats might come take it off my hands, or my neighbor might see it & pick it up for me. Alas, when I returned, it was still there. So, I was forced to deal. This was quite traumatic. To say I’m squeamish with dead furry creatures–hell, even live furry creatures–is an understatement. I once paid an exterminator to come out on a Saturday morning to pick up a dead rat that decided to die in a kitchen cabinet of the house I shared in DC. I had to call 8 exterminators before one was willing to come out just to pick up the damn thing. All the others just told me to get a trash bag & a broom. Yeah, NO! So, anyways, I wasn’t going to fork over the money this time; so, I sucked it up & did it. If the across the street neighbors happened to be looking out their windows at that time they got a show as I probably looked like I was having a seizure–jumping up & down & squirming when it wouldn’t get on the dust bin I was using. But alas, I got it & its innards in the bag & in the trash can. Trash pick up day can’t come soon enough! So, I guess I can be proud of myself. I did something that totally grossed me out & that I would have relied on someone else to do. Although, I’ve never wished I was in a relationship more than when I walked up the driveway to find it still there for me to deal with.

Anyways, writing group was good. I was able to talk through some structural/timeline issues I’ve been thinking about as I move forward & a transition that I’ve been struggling with the last couple of days. I think the transition is sorted out now, but the timeline issue still might be screwy. I was able to outline what I was planning to do. However, when I looked at it I started to wonder if it was right as it brings me to a point further along than I’d planned to be. Ok, I know this makes no sense without context. So, here’s context:

The story opens in the present moment, but within that present moment, I need to flash back on the events of the preceding 14 hours. So, structurally, I was planning to move back & forth from present to past, with the present moment really not progressing much time wise as the past is revealed. Well, the structure I kind of worked up & liked has the present timeline moving along as the past one does, so that when the past catches up with the opening scene in the present, the present has moved forward a day. Ok, that’s still probably confusing. Originally I had planned to be in that present moment, just those opening minutes, throughout the revelation of the past & until the past caught up with the present, & then I would move forward from there. So, now I’m not sure where I’m going. On the one hand I like the forward movement of the present & how it allows me to introduce the flashbacks, but I feel like after revealing the past that I should be where I opened & then move forward. (All terribly confusing I know. This is more for my benefit than yours! Sorry.) So, I don’t know. I’m contemplating & I’ll try doing some work before I go to bed to see if I’ve come to some epiphany in the last 12-hours. We’ll see.

So, that was my Saturday. Benign. Ok. Slightly disgusting. At least it’s behind me.

Image: avlxyz via flickr