So, spent the better part of the afternoon & evening back & forth to the vet. Leo had his appointment with his regular vet. First time she’s seen him since this all started. (She was on vacation.) Let’s just say she was more concerned than all the other vets he’d seen in the past week & a half. She wanted to push forward with the surgery as soon as possible & then raised the concern of whether or not this was the only mass we were dealing with. She was worried that it might have spread to his chest. So, she kept him for a few hours to do pre-op blood tests & x-rays.

I spent those few hours at home freaking out & essentially having a breakdown. I can’t stand the thought of losing him. Not now. This is my dog. This was my mom’s dog. She took rescued him & took him in. It just dawned on me that the main reason I’m doing ok is because I have these dogs. They’re like children. I’m responsible for them. They get me out of bed in the morning. They demand that I feed them & play with them. They won’t let me stay curled up in bed depressed. They drag me outside. Without them, I’d be on the floor more often than not.

Alas, some good news. While there is a small lump visible in the x-ray in his chest, the vet wasn’t as concerned once she saw it on the x-ray. Her attitude is that if the larger lump in his armpit comes back benign then we’ll just monitor the one in his chest with x-rays every couple of months to see if it’s growing or not. The problem is we have no past x-ray of his chest to compare it to. We have old x-rays of every other part of his body, but not that part. So, the vet admits that the mass in his chest could have been there for a long time & always have been that size; or it is slow growing.

If the lump that is being removed comes back not benign (No, I’m not saying the word that equals “not benign”, because it’s benign!), then we’ll deal with it with whatever treatment comes next.

So, Tuesday is surgery day. He’ll just be in for the day & home in the evening. Biopsy results should then come in on Friday. The word of the week is: BENIGN.

Just keep repeating that.