Let’s start out on a fun note. I saw Eagle Eye today. Hadn’t planned to see it, but must say it was quite good. Highly recommend. Nice distraction. Nice to have something mundane & even fun to talk about in a post.

…and now, because no post these days would be complete without me bumming you out…

The rest of the day…not good. Spent the morning having breakfast with my grandmother–my mother’s mother. At 88, she has outlived all 3 of her daughters now–one who died before the age of 2; another who died 20 years ago in her 40s; & now my mother. It hurts to see her have to go through this, even though she seems to be holding up well. Sitting across from her, I realized I will never see my mother at that age. She will forever be frozen at age 63. I can’t wrap my head around that.

Then spent the better part of the afternoon & evening with my father at the aforementioned movie, then a late lunch, followed by watching the Red Sox-Devil Rays game. I’m glad for the time spent with him & want to spend as much time with him as possible; but it constantly reminds me that my mother isn’t here.

Tomorrow is 1 month.

How is that possible? Seriously. Where did all those days between then & now go, because I don’t remember making my way through them. I know I’ve woken up every morning, eaten, done something, & gone to back to sleep. But I feel as if I wasn’t there for any of it. I’m not in my body. I’m not present. I’m not quite sure where I am.

I hate this.

Image: Barb Henry via flickr

Advertisements