Mood: mellow + a few glasses of wine

Currently listening to: Elysium by Portishead (God, I love them and forget that way too often.)

So, as of this posting, I am only 1723 words behind. Easily doable tomorrow. Have been rather good today–3000+ words. Even cut the evening short to get some more in before bed.

Not sure what the scene I’m in means. See, the first line just came to me on the drive home. And I just decided to riff on that to see where it took me. The only problem, it’s in 1st person. Thus, totally out of place. But for some reason the scene I needed to write next/now was just coming to me as “I”. Looking at it, even the voice is a different. In away, it’s more me…not me in the autobiographical sense, or this is how I would react to this scenario…but me, in the “this is how I usually hear the tone of my writing in my head” or at least how I want to hear it. If I were to keep it for a 1st person draft, it opens up some interesting possibilities for the MC–maybe she’d not as damaged and emotionally drained as I thought. Or maybe, after everything she’s been through, at this point in the story, she’s undergone a bit of self-reflection and self-realization and has decided to get a little more…how do I put it…aware. Could work…but won’t over think now. But, must decide once I finish up this scene in 1st, if I then go back and try it again from 3rd for the sake of this draft, or if I just push forward and let it be. As I’ve been writing the scene, I keep looking for places I could reenter it from 3rd and I haven’t found any openings yet. Not too worried if a way in doesn’t present itself now, but it is making me think.

So, this morning, had writing group. Very good. More chatting than any writing. Sara has joined me in the last 15 days of my self-imposed writing challenge. Fifteen days, 15K words. While we were talking about other things, it dawned on me that I am getting closer and closer to typing those 2 WORDS. And, I hate to say this, but I totally think I’m avoiding them. Now, how’s that for irony. Yes, there is still plenty that needs to be written, scenes to be had, and characters to get from one place to another, or with one another as the case may be. But, there “IT” is, looming on the horizon, and it’s, oddly, not something I’m scrambling to get to. I’m not quite sure what to make of it all. I suppose if I psychoanalyze it too death, I can acknowledge that this WIP, has been just that, a work-in-progress, for almost 3 years now. And while far from done in terms of final product that I would even dare to let anyone of my friends/family read, I am still coming to a major, momentous, moment: a complete 1st draft, with a beginning, middle, and end. I’ve had plenty of beginnings, a few middles, and a crap load of endings over the years, but never anything that could be thought to co-exist together as a single piece. Ok, I’m over-analyzing this. Really shouldn’t. Kind of freaks me out.

One other realization. Because I was so bad in terms of my daily writing goals this week–I could blame the earthquake, but it really wasn’t anything, so that doesn’t work–I’ve learned a hard lesson, or at least the lesson has finally (well, maybe) sunk in. Without the daily interaction with my story, characters, and ideas, it was all the harder to get going once I returned to it. I had to figure out where I, and everyone else, was when I left off, and then I had to remember where I, and they, were going when I decided to last call it a day. So, really, I’m going to try and be good over these next couple of weeks and stay connected daily.

Oh, and I’m reading You Don’t Love Me Yet by Jonathan Lethem. I had wanted to read this since it came out last year, but so far, have not been too impressed. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t get sucked in. I guess I was really looking for a book that would suck me in and thought this would do it. I put off reading The Bell by Iris Murdoch because I figured it’s a classic, thus something to be read for it’s technical/literary value, but maybe not something that would get me engrossed in it. I think I may do a binge reading session tomorrow to just get through the rest of it so I can move on. I hate to do that, but I hate to start and then never finish a book. That drives me crazy and I already have 2 books sitting on my bedside table that have suffered such a fate. I must do, what I must do.

Ok. It’s late. I need sleep.

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