Mood: Sun-baked (and a little pissed–I should be at Coachella, but I’m not, and I’m missing Portishead and Prince tonight.)

Currently Listening to: Lucky by Bif Naked

I’m behind. Horribly behind. I will not meet the 100-page goal for the month. I have accepted my failure, embraced it, and have moved on.

At this point, I’m just shooting for 50 pages. Currently at 40. Should have no problem getting there.

Will not be able to type THE END at the end of this month, but at least am closer.

Not all is lost…I’ve realized a few things along the way.

  • I have no clue whether this should be written in 1st or 3rd. I know I’ve been going back and forth all along, most recently settling on 1st. But I’m back again and dangling somewhere between the two. Maybe I should call it a draw and find some middle ground a la Marguerite Duras in The Lover which I just reread recently. But, unlike Duras, my MC is not reflecting on her childhood/the past. She’s if anything telling the story in the present or the recent past. So, I don’t think I need the POV split that Duras needed. God, who knows. The harsh reality is that I’m probably just going to have to suck it up and write a complete draft in 1st and a better 3rd POV draft and then compare the two. I know the current 3rd draft is not a good gage to compare the two. This draft is all about just working through the plot and the characters. I’ll be the first to admit, it sucks shit! And, no, I’m not being overly dramatic. It truly sucks. I know I’m just doing a word/idea dump. It’s just me figuring out my thoughts. There might be a few paragraphs here and there of text that are salvageable. But I’m expecting those to be few and far between. So, far from done!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I’m not frustrated (thank God!), but am just a bit anxious. I want to get something done. I want to get it done. I want to figure it all out and have the full story.
  • I NEED to work on other things while I’m working on this thing. I attended a panel at the LA Times Book Festival at UCLA this afternoon where the authors were talking about playing around in different genres and experimenting with new/different parameters to just keep your creativity going and to also see what else might be lying beneath. So, new plan. Want to try and write for at least 30-minutes every day using some kind of prompt that’s not about the rules (like characterization, POV, or dialog). No, this should be about using 3 random words in a piece. Or writing about the last person you talked to. Who knows, something might come out of it. Whether it’s related to the WIP or not, I realize I just need to play.
  • I need ice cream! Coldstone’s Birthday Cake Remix to be exact. Must go get now. Screw dinner! That was the grapes anyways, right?!?!
  • I need to start reading more short stories. I’m constantly reading novels, but I think I need to read more new short fiction. Might be time to pick up some lit mags or anthologies.
  • Not that I’m competitive…yes, a total lie…but I’ve been getting some good feedback from my instructor on my pieces. Yeah! And yes, I did compare the comments I got to the ones the other students got (the one plus to an online class!), and I can pretty much say that I’m getting better reviews then they are. Sorry, bad I know. Humor me.

Ok, time for ice cream. I’ve been good all day, plus, I need something to console myself for being here and not in the desert.